Halp Pl0x

[Callum]

So anyone got any pro tips to get over surgery jitters? i go under the knife this Saturday to get my knee reconstructed in 3 places and i really hate surgery so yeah.

[Andrew]

Dear callum,

I happen to know a thing or two about jitters. Being in a war an all that. Its tough trying to stay alive under all the stress of bullets flying over your head.

Ive also been involved in numerous amature group sex acts. TALK ABOUT AKWARD! HEres a few tips:

I find it helps when I smoke some weed and jerk the pipes before any major encounter with a stressful situation. I find valium and crack does a much better job (just ask Gray Gray here). Although it does have considerable drawbacks. Such as inconsolable shacking, anus pre cum etc.

It also helps if you listen to music. I would stay way from the likes of heavy metal and grindcore. As thouse bring up thoughts of blood and gore. We wouldn’t want that when they cut up your leg . I can imagine.

Have you ever considered rubbing chily powder on your knob before sugery? The pain is wonderful and exquist. It burns like a bitch but I bet that will help distract you from the knife.

You ever thought of making love to a unicorn before? I haven’t tried it myself but im sure its just like heaven.

How about pretending you are a lesbian for 2 yrs.. and then saying NAH..

I hope this helps!

Yours truly,
A

Ps. Bukkake is good for protein maybe your knee wont be fucked if it was stronger hehhehehe

[Andrew]

MASTODON!

[Callum]

Dear callum,

I happen to know a thing or two about jitters. Being in a war an all that. Its tough trying to stay alive under all the stress of bullets flying over your head.

Ive also been involved in numerous amature group sex acts. TALK ABOUT AKWARD! HEres a few tips:

I find it helps when I smoke some weed and jerk the pipes before any major encounter with a stressful situation. I find valium and crack does a much better job (just ask Gray Gray here). Although it does have considerable drawbacks. Such as inconsolable shacking, anus pre cum etc.

It also helps if you listen to music. I would stay way from the likes of heavy metal and grindcore. As thouse bring up thoughts of blood and gore. We wouldn’t want that when they cut up your leg . I can imagine.

Have you ever considered rubbing chily powder on your knob before sugery? The pain is wonderful and exquist. It burns like a bitch but I bet that will help distract you from the knife.

You ever thought of making love to a unicorn before? I haven’t tried it myself but im sure its just like heaven.

How about pretending you are a lesbian for 2 yrs.. and then saying NAH..

I hope this helps!

Yours truly,
A

Ps. Bukkake is good for protein maybe your knee wont be fucked if it was stronger hehhehehe


haha! epic